A big pit of nothing.......

Only one thing is scaring me in the wee hours of 3.30am on the morning of my flight to LA. Why do I feel nothing? I am about to embark on the biggest move of my life, and I feel nothing.

There are no nerves, no excitement, no tears, no nothing! Nothing!

I sat watching the minutes click over, and before I knew it it was 5.30am. Still no sleep. My bags were finally packed at least.

Until an hour ago, I didn't even have my hotel booked for tonight. I have no idea why I am so unaffected by what is about to happen, but I keep telling myself that it can only be a positive thing. At least I'm not about to wet myself and intentionally miss my flight due to the fear and realisation of what I am about to do.

I am sitting on the lounge with my brother making a check-list. A check-list that probably should have been made weeks ago;

Toiletries? "You can buy that stuff in America, so what's the use in taking up valuable packing space. I have the bare essentials of course."

Passport? "Check."

Visa? "Check."

Do you have something comfy to wear on the plane? "Shit. No!" Note to self to run up to Westfield as soon as the shops open in the morning for leggings & top!

Adaptor? "Shit. No!" Once again, note to self; buy at Westfield in the morning.

Travel itinerary? "I don't really have one; so NO. But yes to my hotel booking for tonight."

Bedtime at last. I have to wake up in an hour and a half, and I don't sleep on planes. There's always too many good movies to watch, and I'm flying on the A380. So many movies to choose from.

Is that excitement in my voice??? I think not.....